.

i was out with some friends for drinks last night and on the way home in the car chatting to my "housie" i zoned out...stared into those lil green dots that make up the green light at the traffic lights...and my thoughts somehow ended up on the thing i refused to think about but yet fail to miserably.

you know that feeling......the feeling that eats your heart out....the feeling of helplessness....of not being able to control things....basically, of not getting what you want.

i havent felt this way in dnkey years...it sucks.

i can be in the middle of anything....and anything at all and it brings my thoughts to what i was running away from