tra la las
Have you ever had that stabbing feeling when you see an old man or old lady walking by...
It always gets me thinking of my parents.
Do i spend enough time with them?
Do i devote enough to them?
Have i in anyway given to them as much as they have to me?
Lately i find myself worried all the time.
You know, that feeling you get but you never know why?
I think its my parents that bug me.
Usually people worry bout parents as one entity...for me...there is mum and there is dad.
...Separately...
Lately having been torn apart by both and having my loyalty & love questioned...makes me worry more.
Am i being insensive to mum by choosing to work for him and to live with him?
She has always been the better parent.
I love them equally but if the scale had to be tipped i love her more.
But i feel like he needs me more than her.
Its driving me insane.
Enough that i feel guilt that i do not spend enough time with them, that i do not give them enough and that i worry about them,
BUT now my every move is judged along with my every decision and it kills me that they are both unhappy and i cant do anything about it.
By making one happy, the other is unhappy.
ahhh....family....
then i decided....to let my tra la la takeover.
BUT everytime i see an old person, a family, a mother, a father....my heart breaks.
It always gets me thinking of my parents.
Do i spend enough time with them?
Do i devote enough to them?
Have i in anyway given to them as much as they have to me?
Lately i find myself worried all the time.
You know, that feeling you get but you never know why?
I think its my parents that bug me.
Usually people worry bout parents as one entity...for me...there is mum and there is dad.
...Separately...
Lately having been torn apart by both and having my loyalty & love questioned...makes me worry more.
Am i being insensive to mum by choosing to work for him and to live with him?
She has always been the better parent.
I love them equally but if the scale had to be tipped i love her more.
But i feel like he needs me more than her.
Its driving me insane.
Enough that i feel guilt that i do not spend enough time with them, that i do not give them enough and that i worry about them,
BUT now my every move is judged along with my every decision and it kills me that they are both unhappy and i cant do anything about it.
By making one happy, the other is unhappy.
ahhh....family....
then i decided....to let my tra la la takeover.
BUT everytime i see an old person, a family, a mother, a father....my heart breaks.
posted by the frou fr0u one at
6:20 PM
2 Comments:
We'r only human, and i think those thoughts of our own parents/grandparents flood most of us when we see old people...Only too often i also think whether i see my grandmother enough in her 90 yrs of age, and how i would miss her if i were to lose her tomorrow...
How i should be nicer and more patient with my parents because they have only ever given me the best that they could, but i am not always in the best mood with them...
As for you, u have done admirably alredy to choose to be back here, and to work with ur dad. Even tho ur mum may not say it, she does understand. She is a strong lady, she will be ok...
I guess we could all try to be a little more patient with the people that loves us the most :)
thanks babe
makes me feel so much better
i ruvvv u!!!
its good to have frens like you who gives a booster to our system
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