its been a while. . .

its been a while that i feel like writing, that i felt a tinge of sadness, but lately. . . ...

.. . . . . lately i think of you a lot.. . .

i wonder how much you must detest me or how relieve you are to have me out of your life,

that you no longer bother about me in anyway

the other day i called you and i told you, "i miss your presence in my life, not in boyfriend capacity but just your presence", i thought you would still care, enough to still be in each other's lives...but hmm.
after 5 years being in a person's life, i cant help but miss you.

now when i reflect back, i know how much you tried to make me happy.
you gave your all and then some. . .
thats why at the end there was nothing left to give but to walk away and cause me hurt so i could set you free
and maybe thats why now that you are free . . . you are free .


i am to blame for my own hurt sometimes.
you did so much for me and gave so much to me,
and when i look back i was never satisfied and i always wanted more.
i didnt know how good i had it,
actually maybe i knew.
but maybe cause you would always accomodate me i kept on pushing my luck.
what i did burned you out and along with it any love you had left for me. . .

sometimes i think its just about how people reflect on things from the past and what they derive from it
so far i have realised the above, how true it is and if thats the way things really were i don't know, because it wasnt just all me. .
maybe you didnt do so much,
maybe i wanted more cause you lied to me,
maybe you hated what you did and not do it out of love hence why you hated yourself at the end,
BUT whatever happen whatever i derive out of it...
its pointless . . . because this is all so over

When a door closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past,you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

"Contentment is not the fulfilment of what you want, it is the realisation of how much you already have"

But then again, do you only want to be contented with life? hmmm . . .
best to stop before i spiral out of reasonable thoughts