ITS over...

I need to acknowledge that there is no 6 months.

You said we are on a break and we havent broken up but truth be it, we have broken up and its over.

After our last good talk,
I left thinking that in 6 months time....u will come back and we will start our relationship afresh.....
NOT see if we want to try.....
because you say we are on a break.....we didnt break up....

I know we are supposed to take the 6 months to evaluate and change ourselves for the better and etc....
but i thought its so that when we start in 6 months time again....its new...its fresh....and its hopeful
and we will be better people and better for each other....a new healthier kind of love

As far as I remember that wasnt a presumption I made but what you said to me,
to trust you to come back and believe and hope in us,
that we will start afresh.

Coming back to me and looking for me in 6 months,
I realised there is a difference to that.
I thought you are coming back.
Someone advised you that in life no matter what, if you work hard for it, luck will eventually come alone.
Thing is, you have to want it to actually work hard for it.

I know you cant tell with matters of the heart.

But you can make decisions in life,
and my decisions is to not have this 6 months in my life.
So I can truly accept its over.
To properly mourn and not stay in denial of hope and believe and avoid reality.
So I can move on.

When I told you I had a relapse when everyone told me to let go and move on and you asked "can you?",
from that I guess thats what you want, and sometimes people just say what they HAVE to say and maybe you felt like you HAD to say 6 months,
to get rid of me and so that i will slowly realise its over and move on.
But sometimes I think, you also really just dont know and you really do just need this time to be alone and find yourself like you said.

But to move on, this 6 months has to no longer exist.