Where I am now...

15th March 2009 was my last post.

It has been a while since i've written. I don't remember at which point when but my blogging had a slow decline into a fullstop.

So i read a couple of my old post and realised "woah...that felt like a lifetime away". I feel like such a different person now but yet i am the same "same same but different". When i read the older post of life pre kev, i think of the past relationship, the memories and the end and the pain and i go..."what was that all about?". I dont even remember why i was that sad, i remember the pain but then now that its been so long and i've managed to extract myself from it and look at it from a 3rd party view, i go "she wanted to break up with him, she knew this thing wasnt good for her and she was sad when it ended" then i scratch my head and go "nyehh" and tra la la.

Back to the 15th of March 2009....that was just 8 months ago. A lifetime? Maybe.

We've bought a perfect lil house since.

I've gotten engaged.

I'm about to get registered in 16 days.

A WIFE.

AND i find myself of late going "woahh".

I never was the marrying type. I was never the kinda girl who grows up thinking of her poofy wedding gown and planning her wedding to the T. AND then thinking how many kids she wants and whats their names.

Now, you understand the "Woahhh".

haha.

A few friends respond to me getting married "Celyn Goh, gettin married? for real?", well not just a few friends, QUITE a few. AND a certain few from those quite a few asked "Are you sure this is what you really want?" Maybe those questions stem from my facebook status or my msn name "Whats cold feet? Try Frost Bitten Feet!" and of course my alter ego "Petrina Pan".

My married girlfriends tell me "Don't worry, its normal". Then i look at my *ahem* fiance [did i mention i cant say that word haha], he is so cool calm and collected. Makes me wonder? He is all like "i can't wait to get married to you" ; "i can't believe you are my wife" la la la and along those lines. Maybe the realisation of gettin hitched will hit him on the morning we get hitched itself? =p

Anyway, a close friend kept on telling me to think twice, kept on asking me if i am sure this is what i want.

I know i sound like i might flip and run away the night before the wedding, very Runaway Bride like. But as i talked with my friend about this and as i finished reading my old posts, i do want to do this, i know i do, as much as i am afraid.

Because, who wouldnt want to be married to someone as wonderful as my boo...
- he wakes up showers kisses me and makes his coffee and lets me sleep in
- he then gently wakes me up and sends me into the shower
- he makes me toasted ham & cheese sandwich
- he makes me coffee and brings it up to my office
- he is such a good cuddler
- he smells so yummy
la la la and so much more

The cynical people out there would go, "God..she needs to make a list to realise that she does wanna get hitched?"
Blahhh to you cynical ones.
The list is just something to remind me in the future when we hit some rocky bits, how great a guy i have and how lucky i am.
I know some of you may say, "havent married and already thinking of rocky bits" but hey, its reality.

Rita Rudner: "It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

I use to write to express, now i find it nice to read and remember...