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trippin' gigglin' luvvin'

I feel like a Wood Nymph trippin' on smackies
all luvved up
all giggly
all smacked out
My bOo he does that to me
makes me wayyyy happy
so i decided . . .

I'm not going to let the auto runaway train of thoughts in my head get one up of me.
I'm not going to overthink things as i normally do and drive myself insanely loco.
I'm gonna take 1 step at a time!

Bubble burstin'

Sometimes when you are too happy, you get worried.
Worried . . . waitin for somethin bad to happen.
You know, like when you watch the movies, everythin is so sunshinny happy tra la la then *poW* somethin bad always happens.
Some of you might agree how that happens not only in the movies but in real life as well.
OK ok, some of you might think, "Only pessimistic people would think too much and dampen the mood on something good".
But at this age, one has to think clearly and make right decisions in life.

Reality rears its ugly head and burst the happy bubble we sometimes live in.
Well for me, i stay not only SOMETIMES in the bubble, but i dont ever wanna come out of it. I wanna live forever in it?
My COCOON.

Thing is, sometimes you gotta exit the cocoon to become a beeeeeyoooteefool* butterfly.
Sometimes, we just have to face reality, adept to it and conquer it the way you know how.

So, do i stay in my cocoon? Or should i try becoming a butterfly?

STORY goes like this. . .

Girl, struggling and fumbling to climb up from the down low in life.
Girl met boy, makes her wayyyyy wayyyy happy!
And as mentioned before, happiness is an elusive emotion so grab onto it with dear life.
Girl, decides to quit her family business, which was a job that at times depressed her but at times she found challenging and thrilling with boundless opportunities with plans made and lotsa Benjamins rollin' in.
Girl, chooses to remain on the lil island to hold onto this new found euphoria they call happiness.
Boy says, "Dont make your decision based on me".
Boy doesnt know, he is the biggest pro point in Girl staying on the island.

Boys & girls out there, sometimes becareful what you wish for.
Girl here, use to wish for a simple life with a nice boy and trust me, the universe does get your signal and sends you what you want.
So be specific when wishing for anything.

Anyway, STORY continues.. .
Boy is correct.
Never make your decision based on someone else.
Because eventually in the future somewhere, the problem will arise.
Girl wun blame Boy but Boy might feel guilty anyway then Girl might start thinking and agreeing. . .
ALL these negative vibes setting in. . .hmmm

Girl, wishes she was simple and easily contented.
Girl thought thats what she wanted.
But a leopard cant change its spots.
Girl will always be complicated. Girl will always want more in life.

Boy, simple, contented and happy with life.
Girl loves boy exactly the way he is.
Wouldnt want him to ever change.
Because, to be simple and contented in life, is a GIFT.

BUT so different, this Boy and this Girl.
How would it work?

So, should i stay in this warm comfy happy cocoon with him?
and, ENJOY THE NOW?
Hey, maybe if i was still you know 21?
Or should i, allow my brains that work on massive overtime take charge and get hold of reality.
I might emerge a butterfly?



BUT i remember saying --> When you are happy, everything else falls into place.

My bunny

His smile melts the inner core of me
makes me happy, sunshine lollipop fluffy clouds happy
His voice gives me the tickles
and all i wanna do is smile grin & giggle

2nd Chances

Its funny, how happiness comes and swoops you along when you least expect it. . .

You may think - "Shit! This chick was like massively depressed and poof she is fine?!?! As if!"
Trust me getting here was not easy.
The process i went through physically, mentally and emotionally...has made me a better person.
And with that, i hope, i manage better this time.

I gotta say life has not been this good for a long time, things with the family are good, friends are great. . .and love...mmm sweet love. Funny how the presence of a person could change your way of thinking and so much more.
Everything seems more puurrrrrty. You know what they say about rose tinted glasses. Its pinkish? :p

Unexpected Expectations

The sun is shining,
With the clouds approaching,
The heat pricks on my skin,
With the wind blowing in.
Shall the sun keep on shinning,
Or shall the rain come falling?
You'll never know. . .
such is the workings of life.

So much has happened since my last few post over the past few months.
I was depressed, i was crazy, i was happy. . .it was a crazy cycle of crashing emotions.

Part of me just wanted to delete this Blog and to start a new one, but i miss my old blog so i dont want to end up missing this one too.

You are who you are.
So the past happenings shaped me to be the person i am today, for that i believe they are not meant to be deleted.

Work wise. . .
I've quit the family business.
It was a hard decision and yet made quite easily.
I remember my job depressing me but yet this job had boundless opportunities.
I went to KL spoke to my aunt and uncle, both surprisingly totally understanding and says i am welcome back anytime.

I had to weight out the pros and cons
PG v KL
Love, Family vs Career, Money

So i chose.

Happiness is an elusive emotion, so once around, why not hold onto it?
I know i am at an age where i should plan for the future but then i just want to be happy.
"Making a life, and making a living, are 2 different things" Maya Angelou

When you are happy, everything else falls into place.

2 months back, into the New Year, i managed to accept, to let go and now i've moved on.
To finally move on from something you wanted over for the longest time, makes you feel free, liberated.
One day, with time, i shall write about how depressed i was, how insane i was and how today i am fine and happy.
And may it be an example for those, who are in the midst of depression, that no matter how bad, you have to hold on, for life to get better and for things to work out.
I know in my past post i was negative and i've given up on everything, but hey you know what they say bout hitting rock bottom, there is no where to go but up!